Keeping my brothers and sisters in Christ close

Matthew 18:20 (NIV)

²⁰ For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”



I am so thankful that God has placed me at The Master's Hands.  I am so blessed to be able to gather together with my spiritual family so many days of the week.  I know that it has been what has gotten me through the past several months. 

Today was Steven's IEP meeting.  I was unable to drive over to his school, and did it via phone.  I miss seeing everyone over there, maybe next time.  I knew that it was going to be a hard one with the people that were invited to the meeting. Something is always up when the district has a certain person at the meeting.  I had Bev pray with me before I left as I knew it would be a rough one.  My anxiety has been up enough the way it is.  The district wants to see about sending Steven to a workshop at least one day a week.  They say so he can get adjusted to being out and about in Richland county.  Hello!  He does get out and interact with people here.  I said it was a bad idea as it would be rough on Steven to have different places on different days.  ICA agreed with me, that it wouldn't be good for him.  The transition services guy even said Steven wasn't ready for a workshop setting.  Somehow the people who deal Steven the least think they know what is best.  We are meeting again in December to explore the possibility of him doing that.  The district also says that there are problems daily on the van.  News to me!  Somehow things are never brought up until the meeting and then they expect me to have input about it.  I made it known more than once that I was unhappy about the lack of communication.  I don't how they expect me to help correct something I don't know about. 

Anyway, it all comes down to this.  I am glad I get to gather together with a lot of people tomorrow.  Food line is tomorrow and it will lift my spirits.  I also look forward to October when I am starting a support group for those who are caregivers of special needs children/adults.  More info to come on that. 

I thank God for the great support group his has given me with my physical family, spiritual family and friends.  I know that I couldn't be where I am without them.

Take Care and God Bless,
Sherri

This a picture that Steven took.  My two favorite people in the world!  Well their feet and legs at least.

I can't seem to win

 

1 Timothy 6:12 (NIV)

 

¹² Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.


Today has been an odd one.  I did a good bit of running around for The Master's Hands.  I have never driven the vehicles before and had a good time.  Of course when went to Prairie Farms, I had a blond moment and went the wrong way.  It took a few minutes to figure it out.  We finally got the crates back where they belong and went back.  Before I could take off for another run, we got a call to go back and pick up milk.  We got back again and then delivered bread.  That was the last of the running.  We had a good morning, it is so nice to go up there and everyone get along and be to joke around.  Everyone up there truly cares about each other.  It doesn't matter who walks in, we care.  After we were done, a couple of the kids (yes I called you two kids) came over and cooked a great meal.  It was so much fun having them over and we laughed so much.  We finally ate after realizing we didn't have the burner on under the food.  We got back up to help with the truck that came in and of course they got back earlier than usual.  We got everything put up and headed home.  Steven got home in a great mood today.  I was a little worried as he was slapped by another student today and they said he was whiny.  I think he was just wanting their attention.  We were playing this evening and he got happy.  This can be worse than when he is mad.  It came close to that tonight.  For whatever reason he was hitting and kicking me.  Not real hard, but still.  Then he used the foot board on our bed to scoot himself up on the bed.  The foot board gave way.  So, now our bed is now on the floor.  Which that caused Steven to wanted to have his bed the same.  It is no wonder I don't get anything done.  I had planned on doing other things, but now I am dealing with the bed frames and getting them out of the way.  I then need to do some dishes and laundry.  Then maybe I can get some sleep.  I am looking forward to tomorrow and spending time with everyone. 

Take care and God bless,
Sherri


 





Our new bedding set up

 

 

 

 

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

Today has been different.  Steven slept for eleven and a half hours, getting up about 7:45.  By noon he was grouchy.  We went for a ride and saw a couple of his favorite people before going to McD.  When we got home he took a nap for at least two hours.  About an hour later he started getting grumpy again.  We went and played outside some.  Steven decided he wanted to go for a ride on the mower.  So he climbed in the cart & I climbed onto the mower to head out around town.  We saw people out on dune buggies, motorcycles, 4-wheelers & other ATVs.  It is a beautiful day out there, it seems that no one wanted to be inside.  We got back home and went to the camper for awhile.  We didn't do much, I think we both came close to falling asleep.  It was nice & peaceful out there.  Then it wasn't, Steven decided he would be mad that we weren't watching That Metal Show.  I finally convinced him to go inside to see if it was on.  I knew it wasn't, but it got him in the house before a fit ensued.  We had it rough for a little bit when we first got in, but then he suddenly became happy again.  Here's to a good bedtime.

Take care and God bless,
Sherri

Steven finding his happy spot with his friends and his computer.

Trials and blessings

Romans 12:12 (NIV)

¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.



The past few weeks have been trying.  Between big trials and big blessings.  Things are slow again for Bryan at work and Steven's anxiety (and mine) has been up.  But, we had a good trip, one of the best ever.  God kept my van with gas in it until payday.  I have had people try my patience and I have had others that have given me many smiles.  I have had fallen deep into depression and I have had friends pull me up from it.  I have had my child get physically aggressive with me and I have had my child be the sweetest he has ever been.  I have been to a point where I couldn't pray and I have had my mind blown by how to change my prayers.  I have learned over the past several months that to never doubt God.  (I won't say I haven't had anxiety attacks that have made me temporarily forget it.)  I thank God for sending me up to Godsippers which introduced me to The Master's Hands.  The Master's Hands has introduced me to myself and how to rely fully on God.  Please remember that anyone who reads this, I am there to help you get through your trials.  I may not live near or even the same country as you, but I will do what I can for you.  I want to make sure you are not alone here on earth.  Walk with God and he will be there by your side. 

Take Care and God bless,
Sherri

There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a physical promise from God.

 

Tired and more.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20  NIV
¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.


I started this blog yesterday with every intent of posting it.  Well, my son had other thoughts.  He had a meltdown of the magnitude that only happens every few years.  When Steven is screaming and not just crying in frustration at the end, you know it was a doosy for him as well as you.  I won't go into it much, but thankfully it doesn't happen at that level very often. 

Today was a better day.  He didn't throw any fits just the occasional item.  His anxiety has been pretty high since we have been back from Tennessee.  I realized earlier I haven't been on for a while, so I haven't let you know that our cat Dodger passed away while we were gone.  So the list for Steven to fret over has been kinda big.  There is coming back from vacation, his favorite kitty gone, going back to school, having a new aide in the van and there may be more than that.  It's not like he can really tell me.  So tomorrow he goes back to school, so hopefully we will be on an upward swing. 

Below is the original post for last night.  It still holds true today.  Last night was one of the hard times.  One of the VERY hard times.  But, God loves me and it took a few hours but I came out of it.


I'm tired of being tired.  I'm tired of being in pain. I'm tired of being anxious. I'm tired of being everything I shouldn't.  This is what I am and this is what I should be. I am a daughter of the Most High, that means I'm a princess.  I have a heavenly Father that will get me through everything.  I am done with excuses, I'm ready to break down the walls and get on with it.  I know I will have days that will be hard, I have to remember who I am.  I am one of God's little princesses.  When I run the race, I don't have to finish in one day.  I just have to run to the next checkpoint. 

I want to take a minute to thank each and everyone of you.  For your love and for your support.  God and you with God's help gets me through.


Take Care & God Bless
Sherri


This is a cross stitch I did several years back.  I have to remember this is how I should love.

Keeping it together

Philippians 4:6-7

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.


I haven't been on much lately and I didn't finish my last 30 day.  The anxiety is hitting hard lately, but I am trucking along as much as I can.  Steven is out of school right now and his anxiety is up as well.  So I'm sure you know that is not a good combination.  We are getting on each other's nerves pretty much.  I am trying to plow through the housework, but seems like every time I get going good, I am interrupted by Steven needing attention.  I guess I will get done what I can and tackle the rest when he heads back.  God definitely still has my brain looking for ways to serve him.  I am really looking forward to going back to the Master's Hands next week.  I miss everyone up there.  I even had to go in for a few minutes on Thursday, just to see their smiling faces.  I have posted the verses above all over my house in hopes to keep my head together.  I need to sit down and write down all of the verses about anxiety and keep them close.  I think the worst part is the fact that I am mad at myself that I can't keep it together.  That makes me spiral more than about anything.  I can't tear myself down, I have to build up.  I am proud of myself though that I was able to get several chores done today.  I think I am going to stop now.  It seems to me that I am not flowing with my thoughts and it is hurting my head trying to make them.

Take Care and God Bless,
Sherri

 

My time to whine and other things

This is not going to be an easy one to put out there.  I am definitely baring a lot with this blog.  As you know my son Steven is autistic and can be very physically aggressive.  Through the years, I have wondered many a things about why Steven is my son.  I know that I studied autism years before I had him, I know I have a degree in Early Childhood Development, I know my hubby went to school to be a teacher and I know that God has been there for us.  BUT WHY!!!!!!!!  So many times I have prayed to God while Steven is having fits to help him calm down and to make him sleep.   I didn't know why God would let it continue.  I still don't know why God lets us go through this.  I have been noticing lately that when I am in control of my anxiety that Steven's tends to be high.  I would get so upset, why can't we both be good at once.  Then it hit me hard the other day.  The anxiety is initially caused by a physical chemical imbalance in the brain.  I knew that Satan comes in and helps it along.  Satan is causing my son's anxiety to go up as well!  Why did I never think of this before?  I know that I have to do so much for Steven because he can't do or handle it himself.  I have to get rid of this for him also.  I was having such a good morning and attacking the mounds of housework and everything blew up with Steven.  After so long, I just started crying.  Which didn't help because that upset Steven as well that mommy was crying.  I listened to Los Lonely Boys' song Forgiven as I couldn't pray myself.  The song fit my mood perfect.  Especially the first verse.  Then I felt something inside me to tell the devil to leave my son alone.  I did and Steven calmed down and I calmed down for the most part.  I guess I should say that before I turned on the song, I sent a message to some of the ladies I know and asked to pray for me.  The rest of the day was pretty uneventful until bedtime.  We had another fit.  I didn't do my usual praying for Steven, but decided to pray WITH him.  So I was telling Steven to say God we pray for peace.  At which point Steven would say promise.  We did this about 3 times and then he was calm.  He went to sleep.  Why didn't God let me think of this sooner?  WHY?  I am grateful that I have this new tool, but why so long.  Aug 5th my son will turn 19.  WHY?  I know we aren't supposed to question the wisdom of the Lord, but I can't help but think WHY.  I would like to say that I could ask him in heaven, but I know that I won't have this memory at that time.  It will be a thing of the past.  Maybe God said this to me before and I wasn't listening.  That is totally possible.  Thank you to all of you who think of my family when you pray.  Thank you to all of you who think of us as you go about your day.  I thank God for not making us alone on our journey.  I really can't think of anything else to say so I will stop now.

Take Care and God Bless,
Sherri


This picture was taken by my mom almost 19 years ago.  It was probably the first picture ever taken of Steven.

Unconditional love vs acceptance of actions

This has been a recurring theme for me lately.  But, I do not believe that unconditional love is the same as accepting someone's actions.  I love my son Steven with all my heart and that will never change. However, I do not accept when he hits me and kicks me.  I will do what I can to help people out no matter who they are.  Nor does it matter what they have done.  As a Christian I am called to love as God loves.  God takes people as they are when they decide to turn to Him.  God does not expect perfection when you go to Him.  Thankfully He is loving and forgiving for none of us are perfect.  As it says in Roman 3:23-For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  It is by His mercy and His grace that we have a hope of eternal life in heaven with Him.  I haven't been able to stop thinking about a lady who came into The Master's Hands on Monday. I had to help her fill out her app and she was naming people she told me that she had a partner. She mentioned several times the other lady with her partner. It makes me wonder if someone turned her away instead of helping her because of her choices.  Although I believe the Bible teaches that homosexuality is a sin, there's no way I could turn her away.  It breaks my heart that someone may have turned her away because of that. I do not accept her lifestyle but I do love her and will give her all the help I can. Most of us who have come to Christ have had to have someone look past things we have done wrong to help us to be where we are now.  There is no room for prejudice while being a Christian. We shouldn't treat one person better than another just because of their stature or how they look. We should only see another child of God before us.  That is what we all are, children of the Most High God.


Take care and God bless
Sherri


Just a beautiful picture of the clouds right before a hard rain hit.