Cutting back and piling on

I know I spend to much time on the internet.  Between here, bubblews and mostly facebook it is shameful how much time I spend.  I am going to have to cut back on these things.  I need to spend more time researching places for Steven.  Unfortunately, we have come to the decision to start moving forward with where to place Steven.  He just can't handle a major change in his routine.  He is asking for Mr Lee and Rod to take him to school.  I am going to try and get him to do some other things tomorrow, but at home he doesn't want to do anything but play computer and ask to go to the pool.  I won't take him to the pool, he is too big.  Even when he is ready to go you have to literally drag him out.  Of course, we are looking close to home.  Mainly because we can't afford to move.  The state of Illinois has us terrified about our son's future.  They are pulling so much money and shutting down facilities.  With the intent of shutting even more down.  I would love to be able to move him to Tennessee or North Carolina.  I just don't see it in the cards.  I was pretty overwhelmed earlier as was Bryan.  It is so hard to face this.  We know it has to be done, but we can't help but feel we are letting Steven down.  We are feeling selfish.  But, we know that we can't do this forever.  Especially with my health problems.  We will see how the rest of the week goes and when he gets back to school.  Hopefully we can hold on longer, but I don't know.  Thankfully I have friends that post encouraging pictures and sayings all day.  They remind me that God will be there with us and hold us tightly while we cry.  So, I ask on all the people that read this that if they know of a facility that takes young adults with severe autism and aggression problems let me know.  We prefer close to southeastern Illinois, but we need to keep everything open.  I thank you all for the concerns you have expressed to me and for your prayers. 

Take care and God bless,
Sherri


A friend posted this today and it really helped me today.  Thanks Denise