This is the one about whom it is written: “ ‘I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way before you.’
I know that will be preaching to quite a few of the choir today. Having a special needs challenge means having to look at the road ahead farther than you want to. I am thinking constantly of what ifs with Steven's welfare. Not just once he is out of school, but also when something happens to his daddy or I. I am not saying others don't have to look ahead, but for the most part, those that don't have a disability can eventually be 100% on their own. My child never will be on his own in way. I know when Bryan and I married, we both wanted to live at a house with a pond. Not happening now. Even though Steven can swim, he would be hard to keep out. With Steven's IEP coming up Tuesday, we are facing another round of what to do next. Before I know it, my child will age out and not be able to go to the school. I am praying he is able to stay that long. Sometimes I worry the behaviors will cut it short. I would love to plan definite what to do for Steven, but it won't happen. My son comes first in our household for the most part. Not always doing something for him, but how he will be affected by what goes on with us. I know I was a wreck leading up to last Saturday. I was so excited to get to see Def Leppard again after almost 20 years of not being able to attend a concert, but overshadows of Steven and making sure everything went right to get him to Grandma's consumed me. I know that at the last minute my life can be turned upside down and the best laid plans get thrown out the window. Not that I was going to die if I didn't go, but it was great concert and enjoyed my time with my hubby very much. I remember back in 1998 I was shocked to find out my all time favorite band had put an album out in 1996. I never thought anything could keep me from knowing when a Def record came out. Steven did. He was just starting to really show signs of his diability in '96 that outside of my home didn't really matter. I just know that back then and now God is leading me through all of this. He paved the way for my child to be in my life and to help Bryan and I assure he stays in our life and is happy. I thank God for my boy even though he can so wear me out. I wouldn't trade my child for the world. I just have to keep my eyes on God and He will lead us on down the road.
God Bless
Sherri
No comments:
Post a Comment